well supplied

real talk, it's been a lonely few days. there've been great times, and i really am enjoying the country, but at the end of the day, i'm plagued by the fact that i'm here with 20+ people i don't know but whom all know each other. they're sweet folks, and are sensitive to the fact that i might feel out of place b/c i don't have 3ish years of history with them. they make attempts to talk to me, say good morning, include me in conversations. really, i couldn't ask for a friendlier group of folk. i just wish my logic and good sense would filter down to my case of the lonelies when they hit. -_-

if i wasn't God's kid, i'm sure i'd wallow in this. but He won't allow it.

i was in the common room earlier, trying to be somewhat sociable, but decided to peace out because i felt so out of place. i retreated to the study room, turned on my gospel music, and kinda drifted to sleep. then i got a really unexpected IM. after listening to me emote for a bit, my friend gave me some advice and made me feel less silly about how i felt. all i really needed was someone to talk to, ya know? i would've been cool if he'd just let me say what i wanted to say, gave me a virtual pat on the back, and let me be on my way...

but, God being God, He had to let me know that He was all up in this conversation, that He wasnt going to let me mess up this opportunity: after giving me some general advice, my friend said, "skype and gchat can be a godsend, if you are on at the right times and don't mind losing sleep."

God is a bit snarky isnt He? anyway, i signed off, then felt led to read Psalms 139. peep 7, 9-12:

"Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? ... If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast. If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,' even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you."

heh. i mean, i would say more, but i think Psalms said it for me. anyway. i'm good now. gunna keep pushing on this social tip. don't worry bout me ya'll. i'll be fine =)


(...oh God, your power is here.)